Executive presence is a performance trap: Here’s how to escape it

This is an issue of The Performance Review, written by our CEO Latesha Byrd. This newsletter is for leaders who want to cut through the noise to examine how performance, leadership, and culture intersect.

🎭The performance of presence

I watched brilliant, thoughtful leaders shrink in real time. One woman I always think of is a former coaching client of mine. She was an executive who had just been promoted. Smart, driven, and respected by her team, but completely unsure of how to lead at this level.

She had the skills, but her entire focus was on how to look the part.

Her leaders and mentors told her to control her tone, sit a certain way in meetings, avoid saying “I don’t know,” and speak only when she could do so with absolute confidence. None of it had anything to do with clarity, alignment, or trust. It was all about putting on a performance.

And it left her feeling disconnected from her team and her voice.

That moment stuck with me because I’ve been there too. Trying to lead while managing perception. Trying to inspire while overthinking how I’d be received. Trying to stay in control while quietly wondering if I even belonged in the room.

Somewhere along the way, executive presence became more about optics than alignment. More about posture than connection. It’s the kind of leadership we’re taught to admire, but not always the kind that leads to sustainable careers.

That’s because a highly curated executive presence isn’t just an identity issue, it’s an organizational one.

When leaders feel pressured to perform, their teams do the same. Communication gets vague and feedback disappears. People are only trying to protect themselves, and before you know it, you have a culture where everyone looks fine and no one feels safe.

Let’s call it what it is: Executive presence is often a mask. And the more energy leaders put into performing the role, the less impact they have on their people, culture, and business performance.

If we want to build innovative workplaces, we need to stop rewarding performative leadership and redefine what real executive presence looks like.

🔎 What’s under review

The pressure to “have executive presence” is reinforced by systems and norms that reward polish over authenticity, and control over connection. If you want to lead differently, you have to name what’s shaping the version of leadership you’ve been asked to perform.

Here’s what we’re reviewing:

1. The biased blueprint of “presence” Executive presence often means “act like the people who’ve held power before you.” It rewards charisma, composure, and coded behavior that’s deeply shaped by race, gender, and class bias.

So when a leader shows up with vulnerability or emotional honesty, it gets labeled as unprofessional. The message becomes clear: “We want you to lead, just not like you.”

2. Polish over clarity In too many companies, leaders are praised by higher-ups for how smoothly they deliver a message, not whether the message makes sense or if they answered a question directly.

Employees notice when updates feel overly scripted or when real issues are glossed over in favor of safe language. Over time, they stop asking for clarity and start making assumptions because they no longer expect real answers.

3. Presence without proximity Executive presence can easily lead to being distant from employees or out of reach. Leaders only show up in formal settings or filtered updates, which causes a lack of connection.

Employees then hesitate to raise concerns, give feedback, or trust your direction in moments of change. If you’re emotionally out of reach, your team will be too.

4. Systems that reward optics, not impact If promotion cycles reward visibility over team alignment, and if performance reviews prioritize board optics over employee feedback, you end up reinforcing the very kind of leadership that looks good, but doesn’t lead well. And that disconnect trickles down to every layer of your culture.

✔️ Your next 60 days: From performance to presence

Influential leaders think beyond how they carry themselves in big meetings or high-pressure moments. Think about what it’s like to be on the other side of your leadership every day. Do people know what matters? Do they feel supported? Do they trust how you show up?

To help you reflect, here are four ways to reset your executive presence in the next 60 days.

1. Define the presence you want to embody and say it out loud Most executives are handed an unspoken rulebook about how to “carry themselves,” but very few pause to decide what presence actually means to them. Instead of following a model that doesn’t reflect your values, take time to write your own definition of what presence looks like when it’s rooted in connection and credibility.

✅Action: Write a short leadership statement (3–5 sentences) that outlines how you want people to experience your presence, especially during uncertainty or change.

2. Understand what your team needs and move forward with clarity Strong leaders don’t guess what their teams need. They listen carefully and identify what’s getting in the way. They make sure people understand where they’re going and how they’re being supported. That clarity is what turns presence into momentum.

✅Action: Meet with a few team members across levels to better understand where they’re stuck or unclear. Ask: What feels most uncertain right now? What’s slowing us down? What would real support look like from me or this leadership team? Then connect the dots in a clear message to your full team: here’s what we heard, here’s where we’re focused, and here’s how we’re moving forward.

3. Make feedback a shared expectation

If you want people to speak up, challenge ideas, or give you feedback, you have to create that norm and show you're open to it. You can’t model confident leadership if you’re unwilling to receive corrections.

✅Action: Choose 1–2 trusted colleagues or team members and ask them directly: What’s one thing I could do differently to build more clarity or trust? Then reflect their input back to them, and reflect on how you’ll act on that feedback.

4. Review what your culture is rewarding Look closely at how the company assesses performance and leadership. Are people rewarded for communicating clearly, listening well, and making others better? Or just for being visible, polished, and well-liked by higher-ups?

✅Action: Review one system you directly influence, like a promotion process, performance rubric, or recognition program. Identify one way it rewards image over impact. Then make a tangible change. For example, include a peer feedback component in your performance reviews or add a value-based behavior to your leadership criteria.

Reminder: Executive presence is something you practice day by day, moment by moment. It’s how you speak, how you listen, and how you lead when no one’s watching. Let go of the version of leadership that asks you to perform.

The real work, the work that lasts, starts when you decide to show up as yourself.

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